Teachers at the school also have similar complaints that the majority of their students are undisciplined, they do not have regards for their teachers, not interested in studies, take little interest in cultural and sports activities etc.

Normally we just blame our children or students for all those things and attribute these observations to the changing environment, TV, magazines. Also parents often blame teachers and teachers find excuses in the family background.

We often talk about our past glorifying the same and setting examples as to how we were fairing during our student life and how was our conduct.

Yes, it is the way to convey to our young generation about family values, our culture, social systems and traditions to make our children complete men or complete women of our future.

Have we ever evaluated how much impact we have been making in the minds of our children or are they just carried away by the TV channels? We still remember golden days of our past era as the impact created by our elders still persists. I remember, if we used to do something wrong outside when our parents were not with us, somebody else from our neighbourhood used to point it out at that moment explaining the reasoning as to why our actions were considered to be wrong.

These people also made effort to ensure that such wrong doings were not repeated. In extreme cases our parents were informed with a cautionary note for corrective action.

This means that the neighbours had a say in building our lives. But in recent times our intentions are becoming self- centered. If somebody else's child is erring we try to shut our eyes without making any attempt to rectify his /hers mistakes.

We understand well that all of us are combined to form a society and it is our responsibility to build up the society the way we want. Otherwise we will be confined within the four walls at our home because the environment outside will not allow us to move out.

Majority of us are two plus two families, even if grand parents are with us, our children have little time to interact with them. May be due to the pressures of school homework/tests. It is an established fact that children learn better through their grand parents. We should therefore give enough time to grand parents to interact with growing children, so that they learn family and socio-cultural values by just watching them performing rituals, chanting mantras, reading holy books. Modern day parents may have hardly any time for such activities due to daily pressures of work specially where both of them are working.

Spending quality time with children is of utmost importance but the same is becoming shorter day by day. Even when we have been sitting with the family our attention is focused on watching a film on DVD. This has no meaning as it encroaches upon our QUALITY TIME. It is necessary to divert the immature minds of the children in the right direction.

Teachers in the schools have a great responsibility too. They can not blame others for inappropriate performance of the students by absolving themselves of their responsibility. The impact teachers make on students is enormous. We all have passed through our student life. We fondly recall our school days and the teachers we liked or have influenced us in one way or the other. It is responsibility of teacher to bring the best out of students. One to one interactions with student will help teachers in identification of the problems as the same varies from student to student. They should work on to rectify the same and if necessary involve the parents.

I came across a student who had some difficulties with his studies; reluctant to appear in the examination and at the same time was not expressing his problems. Parents and teachers were just complaining about his deterioration. At the same time no effort was made to regain his lost confidence so that he opens up. I took the initiative and accompanied him for a long walk. I did not ask any thing specifically, but had a general in depth interaction. While talking I could make out that he was going towards negativity leading to loss of self-confidence and resulting in depression. This was alarming and I shared the factual position with his parents. While partly agreeing with my analysis I was asked by them to have more interaction with their offspring. Counseling and continuous interaction has changed the attitude of the child who now feels happy and is determined to take challenges.

Nothing great was done. It was just an effort of identifying the root cause and interaction with positive frame of mind which bore fruit at the end.

Coming to the point, we all know that parents, teachers and the environment or society where we live are the contributing factors for making a good man /woman who will form the society in future where we [parents of today] will be leading retired lives.

We should be concerned about it and ask ourselves ARE WE LACKING SOMEWHERE?

Hope every one of us will get the answer.

Let us stop thinking in terms of I, myself, my family, my children. Instead we should now start thinking broadly in terms of WE, our families, our children, our society. Thinking in such wider perspectives will generate the concept of fellow feeling amongst all leading to a healthy society.

[ Dr. Subhash Pande is the GM of a Pharmaceutical Company in Mumbai, India ]