My Beloved, Who Better Than You to write a Love Note to, this Valentine's Day?

Shernaz Wadia (India, 14/02/06)

I do not idolize you in temples built of stone. I have never done a jagran on any Gokul Ashtami day; nor have I read the Bhagwad Gita or studied erudite treatises on it. My first memory of you goes back to when I was seven and had to learn the Naag Damana. A mere child, you took on the thousand hooded Kaaliya and vanquished it. I was impressed, more by my ability to memorize the poem than anything else. Or so I thought. After that we began to meet sporadically. Sometimes in Meera's bhajans, sometimes in anecdotes that were a part of the curriculum. Later I found you in references to the Gita by great teachers and writers. Curious, I managed to get a copy, but did not get down to reading it. I forgot you.

Later, Sunday mornings brought life to a partial standstill. The characters of the epic Mahabharata came so forcefully alive on T.V. screens that I too was hooked. For years after the last episode, one notion imprinted itself stubbornly superseding others: Krishna was partial. If he hadn't played favorites, the end would have been different. With that I once again put you on the back burner. I had another god, a different mantra. "Hare Krishna" was not my chant. I was indifferent.

Years went by and I did not consciously remember you. One day someone ridiculed you. He put you down as a flirt, even worse!! My only retort was a bemused smile while in truth I bridled with rage at the effrontery. My anger turned to contempt and then pity for the ignoramus.  I wanted to DEFEND you. I wanted to scream to him and the world at large: You are trying to define the INDEFINABLE in human terms. Rather than see the deep symbolic significance in Krishna's actions, we characterize Him with human foibles!  Krishna is not a flirt. He is Love incarnate. All of existence is His Vrindavan and we are all His gopis. In hiding our clothes He strips our souls of the thick veil of ignorance. He wants us to revel in the naked beauty of our true SELF as He sees it. He steers our chariots expertly while we are fiercely engaged in our personal Maha Yudha in this cycle of birth and death. How often has He bid the sun hide behind clouds that the battle may turn in our favor? No He is not partial. The power of Divinity expresses itself in the lengths Lord Krishna will go to, to protect His lovers.

I did nothing of the sort. Instead I got to wondering...

When did you steal so into my consciousness?
Was I enriched as you blessed Sudama?
Or  captivated when you thwarted the Shesh Nag?
Did I  imbibe you with Meera's cup of poison
Or was I enamored of you with the Gopis
As they whirled entranced by your flute?
Was it in the chariot you steered for Arjun
Or was it during Draupadi's disrobing
That you enwrapped me in your bliss?
I am not a worshipper
But you made my mind your Vrindavan
Ecstatic in your all-pervasive Tatwa
I humbly pray: teach us to love like you do.


So my beloved, may yours be the last name on my lips, yours the last thought in my mind as I depart this Janam to enter into another, if there be one. Grant my spirit the boon of eternal intimacy with you.

I would sing to no one else:

Jeet hi lenge baazi hum tum, Khel adhura chhoote na,
Pyaar ka bandhan, janam ka bandhan, janam ka bandhan toote na...