KBC Specials : Shakuni Mama Plays KBC
By Karthik Narayan (India, 06/01/07)
KBC Special in Heaven: Owing to the special occasion of Heavenly Day, Amitji has invited all the important characters of the Mahabharata over to play a special episode of KBC.
Amitji introduces the fastest finger first contestants:
1. Shakuni
2. Karna
3. Arjuna
4. Duryodhana
5. Bheema
6. Yudishtra
7. Nakula
8. Sahadeva
9. Dushashana
10. Jayadrata
Welcome one and all. From here to the hot seat, all you need to do is answer the following question correctly as well as faster than anyone else…
Question yeh raha aapke saamne:
Arrange these numbers as they would appear on a pair of dice:
A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 4
And your time starts now…..
Contestants think furiously, and wonder how to find out the answer to this tough question.
Karna wonders, “I wonder what Arjuna is doing for answering this question. Oh my god, I should be faster than him, even if it may be the wrong answer… whatever happens I have to beat him”
Arjuna ponders, “wish I had my Ghandeeva now. I would have used my Brahma astra to summon Brahma and ask him... Shit, I missed out….”
Duryodhana thinks aloud, “Oh oh, what if Yudishtra knows the answer? Then he will take over the Hot Seat, which signifies the throne… then I will be thrown out to the streets. No matter, I have arranged for my henchmen to kill him before he can think of the right answer. Even if he does get the answer, my men will always aim for his heart. Oh boy, am so happy!”
Bheema: “give me a break. They don’t ask me questions on how to wield the mace. Then I would have showed them all. Oh, then Duryodhana would also know… hey, right. Why don’t they ask about the recipe of avial or something... it is not fair…? I will whack one big whack with my mace… I swear I shall break this machine and drink its blood if Dushashana dare win this question...”
Yudishtra thinks, “I should never lie. And I should never play the game of dice again in my life. But what gives? This is a question about dice, and I cannot resist the game of dice. Let me play it, what may happen? Even if something happens, I can always take my brothers to the forest for 14 years…”
Nakula and Sahadeva being twins think alike or at least the same things at the same time. Nakula first: “wonder when I can get back to my cattle herd… my cows are being taken over by Laloo Prasad Yadav. Oh my gosh, out of jealousy he may get them ran over by one of his train mishaps that occur almost every other day… got to get out of here fast…”
Sahadeva, the communications chief of his own times, thinks: “modern people think they are so good in communications by using cell phones, computers... And the heck of it, calling a computer as computerji? Gimme a break… in those days I was such a good communications expert. And I would be adding my portfolio with spying. I made such a good spy in those days. Now they have CBI that brings back prisoners on the premise of no death sentence (when such person has caused so many deaths...).”
Dushashana thinks very clearly. “Yes, after this, somehow I need to make my elder brother buy this machine. Why, it’s so good, I love it a lot. Besides, if we have it with us, we can get all answers correctly. What shall I press now? Wonder what Draupadi will think of it. Hmm that reminds me, wonder what she is wearing…”
Jayadrata’s mind wanders along these lines… “Yes, all the pandavas are here. This is my greatest chance to kill them all. At least one of them I should kill. Why is this man staring at me with his French beard, and why are we all forced to sit here while I should be waging battle with my sworn enemies…? Father, dear father… come to my aid now… let us put our heads together… (And not die like we did the last chance we got)”
Finally our first contestant Shakuni mama gets the answer right, and he is the only one… he moves on to Amitji for him to beckon towards the Hot Seat…
Tremendous applause as well as equal number of boo’s for Shakuni mama as he walks upto Amitabh Bachhan.
Amitabh says, “Please welcome Shakuni. He was the only person who answered the question; the others were preoccupied with their own thoughts. What does this prove?”
Shakuni: “that arranging the numbers is the work of a master?”
Amitabh: “That’s not what I meant to say. I meant to say, when you move all your energies towards your goal, you will surely achieve it. But if you keep thinking about other things and don’t prioritize your resources, you will not qualify in the game of life to move forward.”
Amitji continues: “This is the lesson of life that many are not able to digest and implement. Only when that happens can we have the life that we dream of. Otherwise, contentment will never come into our lives.”
With that the game began. Shakuni went on to play the game until the last question, which was for Rs.2 crores.
Amit: “if you win this question, you will win the full prize amount.”
Audience is very happy now. Something interesting finally was happening. There was a bit of suspense if Shakuni would win or not.
Shakuni: “What about my lifelines? I still have phone a friend left”
Amit: “I am sorry to tell you that our telephone line does not have long distance calling facility to Hell and that’s the most likely place you might call. So all your lifelines are gone now”
Shakuni: “Oh my god, not fair at all. Hmmm. Can I quit?”
Amitabh: “all right. I shall give you permission to leave this game. But before you go, you will have to answer this question:
What sort of punishment is to be given to those who do illegal gambling?
A. Be made to watch Saas-Bahu serials for the rest of his life
B. Be asked to dance for Gabbar Singh till his goli-maar gets over
C. Be asked to stand with an apple on his head and ask Arjuna to miss only the apple with his arrows
D. be asked to deliver a bomb to Osama Bin Laden.
Audience is in splits roaring with laughter
Shakuni sweats over the question and silently slinks in the Hot Seat. He scrambles to his feet and starts to run away. He was never seen again in Heavenly circles.
Needless to say, Yudishtra and his brothers lived happily ever after.
THE END
