Letter to a Mother From a Daughter

Dear Ma,

Just wondering...

The essence of religion is charity and donation.

Esp. to the needy and poor...

So why is it that whenever we had Durga Pooja in Sadiq Nagar, we used to all have our food in 3-4 batches and then whatever remaining was given to those slum dwellers?

Doesn't it mean that what is preached is not practised?

Never thought about it so deep, all these years...

But suddenly now, my mind went thinking into those realms.

Ideally, if we go by the words of the great sages and Gods, then those hungry souls should be Fed 1st on such auspicious occasions like religious Festivals and then we, the ones who can afford to have good food always...by God's grace, should serve ourselves.

Just because we donate our money to the Festivity, doesn't mean that we should be given priority.

Yes, there should be plentiful 'Bhog' cooked, that it suffices us as well as those Jhuggi-Jhopri people who come to eat in the Pandal.

But I believe that they should have the 1st turn, and not us.

Why should they always be subject to left-overs?

Imagine we being always destined to eat the waste-aways of others...

Fate has given us the privilege of being able to afford a good diet.

They are so Fateless in such matters.

Though it is not always possible in a pragmatic way to feed those hungry souls everyday as we all are busy with our lives and hectic routines.

But what I believe is, on such Festive occasions, as an auspicious gesture, Thakurer Bhog should be 1st offered to them and then it should be served on our plates.

Doesn't matter if they are not well-etiquetted as respectable citizens should be...

Their depraved environment and inadequate social upbringing have made them what they are.

I am sure that if we would have also led a struggling 'have-nots' life as they do...Fighting for every little basic necessity to survive thru...we might have become as rowdy and irritable as they are.

Prolonged Stress does have its adverse effects and so does Poverty and Deprivation.

Just like the Sikhs do 'Langar' in their Gurudwaras, and believe that Feeding the hungry and the homeless is like Serving God.

We should also observe these religious occasions as a means to serve the poor and destitute.

In society, we the middle and upper class - always come 1st in terms of Facilities and Privileges, as compared to the lower income strata because money speaks...and money power determines Who's Who. Quite sad but that's how this materialistic world is...

For instance, in India, there is so much of corruption that we have to bribe a lot of people to get even simple official jobs done.

Those who don't have the money to give the money, their 'forms and applications' lag behind. It's like - paise ka bol bala!

So I believe that atleast in these Festivities, when we talk of Bhog-Proshad, forgetting about our right to have food 1st because we've given Pooja donation cheques, we should 1st make those local poor people of our residential area's Jhuggis and servant quarters, savour the initial helpings of the Food in the first 1 or 2 batches and then we should help ourselves with the remaining Bhog.

So that for those few days, we feel how it is to always have the left-overs of others...and feel Blessed that God Almighty has given us so much, and also pray for the well-being of these downtrodden people so that their destiny changes for the better.

Also, if the "elite and genteel" amongst us feel a bit awkward with so much profuse compassion and find it hard to mingle with the impoverished people, what I suggest is - to start with, separate seating arenas could be made with partitions, so that the 2 groups of people could be segmented with some curtains for buffet arrangements to prevent them from feeling self-conscious and fidgety in their mannerisms, though I believe the quality of food and amenities provided should be the same on both sides.

Or else, instead of the food being served to the local poor people at the very last and they being asked to queue up outside the Pandal after all the Bhog has been done, they should be asked to queue up 1st before the Bhog begins, and after they have been all served in the Buffet system, their queues starting to marginalise...then Bhog should begin for us so-called elite 'Bangali Bhadralok'.

Having said this doesn't mean that we ill-treat these labourers and maid-servants through the whole year, only to atone for our sins on these Festive days. They should be accorded due respect because at the end of the day, they are also earning their livelihood by serving our homes and offices and for their services to us, we should feel obliged to treat them well.

If there is mutual Faith and understanding, I am sure, people would stop cribbing about bad services of their maids and the servants too would stop nagging about their master's atrocities on them. I know it would take time for such holistic changes to happen but we must not Forget that the beginning shows the end. So why not have a good start to make it all positive with a community feeling...

Attitudes, Thoughts and Beliefs towards "service and being served" need to be revamped and over-hauled for such a drastic societal transformation.

If you agree, then please mobilise your local Bengalis in Bhopal, to start this trend, from the next Pooja Celebration.

Better Late than Never.

Candidly

Aparna

The above Letter was meant to be a personal one. But Ma advised me to publish it and make it ‘public’ so that it leads to a wider awakening of social issues.